It doesn't get better, it just changes.

For purple day, I found a picture of Jesse from college, a purple fleece blanket tied around his neck, posing as dorm room Superman. He's got that ironic-superman smile, the kind you would wear if you were posing as dorm room Superman. The intention was to show support for Jesse's gay friends on facebook, but after putting it up I started to feel worried that they might get upset to see it. I don't know why. I liked being able to see him there, but at some point I wondered how his brother would feel seeing it. Does it feel to him that I'm too obsessed with Jesse? It's impossible to compete with a dead brother.