Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Tears and change

I believe that sudden welling up of tears and hopelessness is a sign of being stuck. I believe depression is a sign that we need to change something. Like a toddler who can't move a kitchen chair over to the sink, or a teenager grounded to her room. Is it a skill problem? A size problem? Or an inability to accept the inevitable and move on with what we have. Today I saw the neighbor who looks like Jesse, and I didn't cry. But just Saturday had an argument with a friend and sat in the bathroom crying over literally the nothing end of it, the resolution, the reconnection. I want to move forward, somehow. I want to feel I'm moving forward. I want to see progress. But for me, progress can be just standing still.