Funny, I came to the Fray pretty much the same way, wandered in by accident and stayed. I don't feel violated by letting you or anyone else see what this is like, I feel that in some sense, teaching what I know about loss is important. I don't know why I feel that way. My father did it for me, my grandfather. They believed that death is a part of life, and important to understand. As important as knowing how to feed your family, how to be a friend, how to build things and tear them down when the time comes. That's not to say I think I have any "answers" on how to be a grieving mother, or grieving daughter or granddaughter. But I know that someone will suddenly realize -- well something about life as they read my words. And it will help both of us, somehow. In ways that talking face to face can't. I mean, the people I pass on the street on my way to work, the ones that notice I am crying-- what can I tell them? But I can tell you all and see from what you say, that you understand. You've allowed a little bit of us into your hearts, and made me better for it. It's a little vicarious, sure, but what you feel is as real as anything else in your heart. I'm glad for you all that you can pull away and go back to your own reality. I envy it right now.