Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I hate February

I tried to make myself busy from mid January (when he was diagnosed with the relapse and back in the hospital) to February 8 (you know). But it just makes me more stressed, instead of preoccupying me. Irreverent class I'm teaching on um, relationship skills, not helping. Irreverent class "visual aids" arrived in the mail today, which made me laugh out loud (a box of small pink dildos). I know it'll be fun. I know I'll be fine, but goddamn it I'm not fine. Even when I'm fine.

Fuck this. I already knew how to cry without letting the tears fall.


  1. I'll be thinking of you all day tomorrow, Iso. I hope for at least one good thing to happen or present itself to you tomorrow that takes your mind away for just a fleeting minute...but it doesn't get any easier, I know.

  2. Thanks topazz, this is such a crappy day. Thank god for his friends and my family. They're being so good to me.

  3. You deserve to be wrapped in their love and closeness, anything that helps you get through this day. I send you my warmest most loving thoughts today. You are a wonderful, strong, funny, compassionate and full of love mother to your sons. The best kind of mother there can be.


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