Yes, I've been avoiding you. I don't want to sob on your shoulder about my job as a small overripe fruit in a very large blender full of chaos. I don't want to talk about Jesse's birthday, because I'll cry about that, too. I can't even put my finger on what exactly sucks so much, because I've gotten in two fantastic hikes that left me exhausted and happy, without breaking a bone (for once); my coworkers are starting to like me (suckers), I'm making enough money to support us both and sock a bit away; which is good because hubby and I are tight again. He just spent Saturday spotting me on my unintentionally vertical climb up a rock face, which is definitely an act of love because I was really gonna fall pretty much most of the time. I'd think my life was going ok (considering), except that most of the time I just want to be in bed, except when I'm trying to fall asleep, not a successful project most nights. When I try to write, I mostly just stare at the screen. Pretty much everything that requires thought or planning is at a standstill. Including my
Oh well. There it all went again.
The Hollow Woman
5 years ago
Begging the question doesn't accomplish anything but sometimes it's all we've got. And having someone to catch you if you fall is having quite a bit. Sometimes when the sleeplessness is upon me, being outside or under an open window where the breeze can sneak in puts me out.
ReplyDeleteFunny, lately I'm not so keen on sleeping outdoors or with windows open. I used to enjoy both quite a bit. Maybe I've watched too many episodes of Disappeared? Living in New York does drain some of the enjoyment of an outdoor breeze in the house--not just because there have been break-ins from the fire escape side of the building-- I'm allergic to feathers, tobacco and pollen, I live above a bar, half a block from a park, and the pigeons own the air rights. Come to think of it, I seem to be the only one in the house who thinks it makes sense to have a sleeping bag and tent handy. I can't even get hubby to stay in the woods past 6 pm. Still, the romance of it lingers. I spose I could just turn the AC up. :)
ReplyDeleteI've battled insomnia off and on for a long time. one time, years ago, I was watching late night tv, avoiding the bedroom and the inevitable wakefulness, and I felt like I just wanted to stretch out, so I lay down next to the chair, right up against the wall. I'd never laid down there before and, in fact, I doubt anyone in the family ever had either...long story short, I fell asleep, hard, for about six hours. it doesn't happen often, less than once a year, but I've slept on the rug in the bathroom, under the coffee table (yes, under) and alongside our bed. but outside is best.
ReplyDeleteInteresting. I've had similar things happen. Sometimes it's easier to relax where I'm not committed to sleeping, I guess. I'm notorious for dropping out in the passenger seat of a moving car, planes -- after a night like last night, I've fallen asleep in an elevator, standing up. Woke up a floor or two past the one I'd intended to get to. Maybe it's the stress of obligation, or the fear of failure to fall asleep that keeps me awake. Ha.
ReplyDelete