Sing it.

As I was walking through the park I got a quick memory of Jesse smiling that little turned up corner smile he had, then him laughing when he was little. God that hurt. After that movie, brave one, where she’s telling her husband to talk to her, it’s easy to identify with that. I was saying to Jesse last night, kind of knowing how futile it is. Talk to me. And then this morning kind of mentally chiding him to help me find my card (it’s a family habit to nag the dead about things like that).

Kept hearing these background singers in the park (in my head) going
Sing it sing it sing it

But I couldn’t remember the song. I couldn’t stop hearing them either. So I tried to let it “play out” as I stood on the platform, nah. Nothing. Think of other things. I could hear the strings, a little, the voices swelling, a little insistent. Wait endlessly for train. I’m late.
Sing it sing it sing it
Then I get a train, the 6.
Sing it sing it sing it
And I sit down, and go through my bag, hoping to find my card. Noticed that my sweater had a stain on it (brand new, now I have to throw it out). And then

Some day, we’ll be together
Yes we will yes we will oh yes we will.

Goddamn I’ve been crying all morning.