Tuesday, February 3, 2009

No, no, no, no, no.

This is the time of year where all I can hear in my head is that word, over and over. January 28th, I have to go home, I'm sick. January 29th, the last time I talk to him. He's fine, his friend Alex is coming by tomorrow. January 30th. The nurse. Come back now. He is already gone. Just a body on a bed surrounded by family and friends. Breathing because they're making him breathe. His heart still strong, everything else gone, even his eyes.

The vigil.

The 8th.

It never ends. I haunt the hospital and the walk from the subway to his bed. You can see my ghost every night.

3 comments:

  1. This is ripping my heart to shreds. I am mourning with you, sharing your pain and constantly wishing there was something I could do or say to take away your pain and heal your broken heart.

    There is just...nothing.

    Only sending my everlasting best wishes and sincere hugs.

    Love you, Iso.

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  2. Thank you TG. I'm trying not to think about it. That only makes my head hurt. It helped to see this from you. I hope you're well.

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  3. I mean, jesus christ, he was just a kid. Goddamnit.

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